open investigations
open investigations. organized loosely by topic, ferociously by mood, updated when the office is quiet and i can find the time. some have footnotes. one has a phone number that turned out to be wrong.
more open than i can count. more arriving. you can decide whether that is a feature or a confession.
investigation · gaslight
gaslight & manipulation
people you used to live with, who insist you are remembering things wrong.
showing the latest 3
ten signs of narcissism — a list of 10, working
ten signs of narcissism, plural, drafted between an elevator ride and a chatgpt second opinion the…
narcissistic and psychopathic traits, the 7 i can tell apart
narcissistic and psychopathic traits, written from a desk by a man who read a productivity bro thread in a…
narcissistic psychopath traits — the working 7
narcissistic psychopath traits, written from a desk by a man with a wallet that doesn’t close. the…
investigation · idiot
idiot, the original
the word that gives the place its name. used here, often, on me.
showing the latest 3
spanish for idiot — 2 words for 1 feeling
spanish for idiot is tonto or idiota — depending on tone, country, and which subtitle you trust. a…
idiot person — and i’m 7 microwaves sure
an idiot person, by my count, owns 7 dead microwaves and keeps the 8th on layaway. a kitchen-grade…
idioti dostojevski — (a thorough investigation)
idioti, dostoyevsky-adjacent, is the only foreign word i can pronounce with confidence, and i pronounce it…
investigation · stupid
stupid, in technicolor
the louder cousin. the public version. shows up in receipts.
showing the latest 3
stupid test questions and answers — i took 3 of them
i took three online stupid test questions and answers in one morning. the tests said i was below average.…
stupid stuff — 7 microwaves and a fork, defended
stupid stuff is a slander aimed at people who try things. an inventory of 7 microwaves and one fork,…
stupid is — a sentence i refuse to finish
the phrase is incomplete on purpose. people leave the sentence open so anyone can finish it. stupid is…
investigation · dumb
dumb, in succession
a single act, then another, then a chart dave keeps. you know how it goes.
showing the latest 3
blonde dumb — 1 phrase i refuse to keep using
blonde dumb is a tired compound. dumbness is democratic — it does not check your roots, your zip code, or…
dumb test — i took 3 and i passed each one
a real dumb test is not a quiz on the internet. it sits on the kitchen counter shaped like a fork. mine…
dumb trivia questions — a quiz only i would fail
a dumb trivia questions session would end with me failing in eleven languages and possibly a twelfth. the…
investigation · liar
liars, mostly polite
the small smiles during the bill. the rehearsed “i sent it”. the receipt wallet.
showing the latest 3
habitual liar vs 4 cousins — a kitchen taxonomy
habitual liar walked through a kitchen-table comparison against compulsive, pathological, chronic and…
define pathological lying — 4 parts and a wet wednesday
define pathological lying: a four-part climate, not a wet wednesday. dave’s theory, mom’s…
liar meaning in urdu — an explainer, sort of
the landlord left a note in three languages by accident. liar meaning in urdu, i admit, is not in my…
investigation · fool
fool’s errands
tasks i started, tasks i abandoned, tasks i tell people i finished.
showing the latest 3
david gardner motley fool — 1 fool, 2 brothers
david gardner cofounded the motley fool in the early 1990s. on my reading, he is a shakespearean fool with…
greaterfool — and yes that is me, technically
the greaterfool theory says someone, eventually, will buy what you bought for more. i bought the second…
motley fool llc — three letters that protect the fool
llc, three letters that follow the word fool like a small sword. a title, additional. mike pours one and…
investigation · smart
smart, allegedly
cognitive biases, including the one that says i don’t have any.
showing the latest 3
how can you tell if you are smart — 4 honest tests
how can you tell if you are smart? mostly you can’t from the inside. mike’s bar test,…
how to tell if you are smart — what they don’t tell you
telling whether you are smart is harder than it sounds because the test is administered by the same brain…
how to think faster and smarter — what they don’t tell you
thinking faster and smarter is the kind of phrase you see on a podcast cover next to a man with very white…
investigation · dunning
dunning-kruger territory
people who explain your job to you, including, on bad days, me.
showing the latest 3
kruger effect meaning, explained in 5 sips at a bar stool
kruger effect meaning, explained on a tilting stool by a man who used the phrase out loud at the corner…
dunder kruger effect, a thorough investigation
a printer hated me, a chair hated my back, and 47 tabs hated my laptop fan, all from the same square…
duncan kruger effect, and i’m fairly sure
sarah was in line behind me at the supermarket and i, somehow, walked out with a yoga mat that was not on…
investigation · moron
moron, the strong word
a word i try not to use. and then use, on a tuesday, anyway.
showing the latest 3
moron etymology — a 2000 year journey downhill
the etymology of moron is a 2000 year journey downhill. greek moros to medieval latin to…
moron origin — a story from 1910 with bad intentions
1910 was a year. henry h goddard was a man. he chose the word moron from greek for dull, and a clinical…
moron vs fool — small difference, real consequences
moron versus fool is the more interesting fight, in my unsolicited estimation. fools have shakespeare.…
investigation · idiot culture
idiot culture
the surrounding evidence. the receipts of a society that may also be one.
showing the latest 3
an idiot abroad egypt — 1 honest verdict on the pyramids
karl pilkington went to egypt and called the pyramids rocks. he was correct. a long-form defense of…
dostoevsky idiot — a defense from someone who has not read it
i have not read the dostoevsky novel. let us get that confessed early. and yet i have approximately nine…
village idiot — and i am fairly sure i applied for the job
every village historically had one. one designated holder of the unfortunate reputation. i suspect i…
this page updates whenever a new investigation gets opened. there is no schedule. there is barely a system.